Singles

Why I No Longer Pray for 'Contentment in Singleness'

Why I No Longer Pray for 'Contentment in Singleness'

About two weeks before my 39th birthday I fell into a mild depression. I was entering the final year of my 30s a single lady, and not only that, there was no one waiting in the wings to “put a ring on it”. Honestly, that broke my heart...and it did a nice little number on my pride. I didn’t feel “single, saved and sassy” or whatever catchy, alliterative descriptor some Christian authors might use these days. I simply felt “single and sad”...and angry...and lonely...and frustrated...and anxious!

Thankfully, on the day of my birthday, the depression and heaviness of what I’d been feeling lifted. But in the weeks and months to come, I’d still find myself “feeling a way” about my marital status.

"God Told Me to Marry You"...And What God Really Said

"God Told Me to Marry You"...And What God Really Said

Long, long ago, I belonged to a church where it wasn’t uncommon for members to “know” the specific person “God” told them they were destined to marry. A good friend of mine at the time believed God revealed to her that our pastor’s armor bearer (assistant/Bible toter/water getter/forehead wiper) was her husband to be. Another member said God told her she would marry one of our church’s ministers. And I believed the Lord told me a popular radio personality (and church member) was destined to be my hubby. Suffice it say, each of us found ourselves looking like an idiot as time and circumstance played out.  The pastor’s armor bearer ended up marrying another woman within six months of meeting her. The minister simply used the other young lady for sex as she pined away hoping he’d one day see they were meant to be. And my radio personality hubby-to-be told me flat out that I wasn’t “the one”, went on to marry a gorgeous gospel artist and (10+ years later) they remain married and have an adorable family.

Since leaving that church, I’ve come to learn that our embarrassingly mistaken “revelations” aren’t uncommon among professed believers in other churches, either. I’ve since met another young lady who so sincerely believed God told her a specific guy was her husband that she remained single and waited for him for 13 years! (THIIIIIIIR-TEEEEEN...YEEEEEAAAAARRRRSSSS!!!!) Meanwhile, that gentleman barely knew her name, and if I recall correctly, he also went off to marry someone else.

What Your Single Friends REALLY Think About Your Engagement

What Your Single Friends REALLY Think About Your Engagement

It seems within weeks an engagement occurs, female friendships can begin to take a nasty, catty turn. According to my social media timelines, these cat fights rear their ugly heads because a single friend is now “hating” on the newly engaged friend. It's a sad state of affairs, people. So, this post is inspired by a lot of what I've seen play out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and much, much more.  I’m writing this in love, and in an effort to help you repair and maintain important relationships. I also seek to help others who have to watch this stuff play out in our newsfeed maintain our sanity - ladies, we honestly can't take another passive aggressive status update or meme.

So, engaged ladies, here are four things your single female friends are most likely thinking about your impending nuptials.