“ Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.””
(Image: @TiaMowry/Instagram)
Not that Tia Mowry’s marriage to Cory Hardrict is anyone’s business, but when she decided to be “transparent” on social media about their impending divorce, one could argue she effectively invited everyone to speculate about it.
Of course, utterly blindsided by her announcement and only aware of their unproblematic public image, many of us defaulted to think the best of them both. Many of us made a conscious decision to not presume the worst in her comments section while others who did comment kept it classy and simply sent her words of encouragement, prayers and even hopes that they’d reconcile.
In the days and weeks since her announcement, however, it seems that Tia has wanted us to know that her decision to leave her husband was due to his being an impediment to her happiness, joy and peace. Thankfully, she’s not made any overtly negative claims about or brought public charges against Cory, but through her social media posts, social media engagements and her comments during interviews, she’s been trickling out just enough information to send the message that her husband has, in one way or another, held her back from being who she is and/or what she needs and deserves.
During a recent interview on TODAY with Hoda & Jenna, Tia shared she knew it was time to leave her husband when she began to “really focus” on her happiness.
“I feel like, women, we tend to focus on everyone else’s happiness - making sure that everybody else is okay, meaning our children, our friends, our family. But, at the end of the day, it’s about self-love,” she declared. “And when you start to really work on yourself, love yourself, know your value, know your worth, and then all of a sudden there’s this awakening…it’s not easy, it’s a hard journey, but at the end of the day, it is so, so worth it.”
Now, her words were met with a rousing applause from Hoda and Jenna’s studio audience, but, I’ve got to be honest: I don’t know what in the world sis was TALMBOUT!
What does any of that even mean?
I don’t ask because I want to know “the tea”. I ask because her response, besides being a word salad that didn’t actually answer the question, entailed some buzz words that suggest she’s bought into, and is primed to slyly feed her female following, feminist tropes and other deceptive notions about marriage.
(Image: Content Pixie)
“It’s About Self-Love”
Frankly, I don’t expect much of celebrities in the way of proclaiming Christ, rightly dividing His Word or espousing a consistently Biblical worldview. But since Tia is a professing Christian and known for her “good girl” image, it’s important to address her rhetoric and test her fruit for the sake of those tempted to eagerly pick up what she’s been dropping lately. This is especially necessary in a culture that increasingly preaches that women are “victims of the patriarchy” and that “self-love” is a virtue…a Biblical mandate, even. Indeed, they will find a way to bring this ideology into the Church.
During a previous vetting of sermons by false teacher and unqualified pastor Michael Todd, for example, I heard Mr. Todd claim that self-love is an embedded mandate of the second greatest commandment (Matthew 22:39). As his logic went, when Jesus tells us to love others as ourselves, He means we must first learn to love ourselves before we can love others. Though, an honest reading of Jesus’ directive, especially in context with the full counsel of the Scriptures, reveals that our Lord’s meaning is that we ought to love others just as we already love ourselves.
We have a default willingness and ability to look out for our own well-being and self-interest, which can lead to selfishness, narcissism and pride if we’re not careful. Our innate “self-love”, corrupted by our sin nature, causes us to not love and to sin against God and our fellow man. Hence, Jesus tells us to be just as willing and able to love (look out for the well-being and best interest of) others. Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, reiterates this truth:
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4, my emphasis).
Perhaps Tia has felt unloved, taken advantage of or under-appreciated in her marriage. Perhaps she’s felt abandoned, betrayed, ignored, or unsupported. Whatever she’s felt all these years, it’s truly none of our business. But what we all should know is she couldn’t have felt any of the aforementioned things without already having self-love. She couldn’t have felt slighted by anything going awry with her marriage (or her husband’s treatment of her during it) without taking her own self-interest into consideration. Even the decision to stay with him all these years required her to consider her own interest. The only difference now, in her decision to leave Cory, is it seems she’s decided to primarily or solely look out for her self-interest. Or, as she shared in an Instagram post shortly after announcing her breakup, “This chapter in my life is called My Turn.”
So, no, her decision to part ways with her husband isn't because she’s learning how to love herself, as if she didn’t already possess this innate human quality. Instead, the “self-love” journey she’s on is riddled with self-deception and she, inadvertently, is about to deceive the many women who admire and follow her.
(Image: Harper Sunday)
“All of a Sudden, There’s This Awakening”
Anyone familiar with Tia’s Instagram content can sense that she’s always been pretty “woke” in matters of social and cultural concern. Yet, it seems she’s also gone “woke” in matters of love and marriage.
Tia, who describes her “self-love journey” (and resulting decision to divorce) as an “awakening”, actually built her platform around her love of marriage, motherhood and family. But suddenly she’s sounding a lot like another recently divorced celebrity: Kim Kardashian.
“For so long, I did what made other people happy. And I think in the last two years I decided I’m going to make myself happy. And that feels really good,” Kim explained in a February 2022 interview with Vogue.
“And even if that created changes and caused my divorce, I think it’s important to be honest with yourself about what really makes you happy. I’ve chosen myself. I think it’s okay to choose you,” Kim added.
Referring to her journey as “Team Me”, Kim’s words are almost identical to what Tia’s been preaching as of late. Interestingly, Tia hired Kim’s divorce attorney, Laura Wasser, who handled Kim’s 2022 divorce from Kanye West and her 2011 divorce from Kris Humphries.
This doesn’t necessarily mean Kim has had any direct influence on Tia’s decision. Yet, whatever the source of their respective “awakenings”, what they’re each communicating sounds exactly like the deceptive patterns of the world the Lord said we’d see in these last days.
In the last days the love of many will grow cold (Matthew 24:12). The campaign to prioritize self-love is but a movement to extinguish true love, for God says love does NOT insist on its own way (1 Corinthians 7:5).
In the last days, perilous times will come, for men will be lovers of themselves (2 Timothy 3:4). As the self-love movement inhibits true love, it automatically begets chaos, for it is written “love covers a multitude of sin,” (1 Peter 4:8). But “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there” (James 3:16).
In the last days some will depart from the Faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, forbidding to marry (1 Timothy 4:3). The self-love movement claims that loving oneself first is the pinnacle of our human existence. Yet, this contradicts the two greatest commandments. The first being to love God with all our hearts, soul and mind, and the second being to love our neighbor as (not after) ourselves (Matthew 22:37-38). Upon these two commandments all the Law of God hangs.
What I’m trying to say is, Tia’s “awakening” to “self-love” is actually Tia being seduced by a doctrine of demons. And while she doesn’t overtly tell others to never marry, she is “forbidding” marriage by ending her own and by influencing a mindset that is inconsistent with, undermines, discourages and sows discontentment with the institution.
“It’s Not Easy…But It’s So, So Worth It”
Though she admits her “self-love” journey has not been easy, Tia believes ending her marriage is worth it. This is an unfortunate take, but not surprising once one considers how she’s choosing to view her divorce.
“I look at it as like a curriculum when you’re in college or high school. You’re learning, you’re growing, you’re evolving, you’re creating. And I was able to create with Cory some beautiful, amazing children,” she shared with Hoda and Jenna.
“At the end of that curriculum, there's a graduation, there’s a celebration. So that’s basically how I’m looking at it now.”
It’s been interesting to see many female bloggers and YouTube content creators “Yaaasss Queen” Tia for this perspective. But, if we’re honest, we all know that marriage is NOT the same thing as attending high school or college! Matriculating through school is supposed to be a short-term experience. We go to school knowing we will and must one day move on. We go into school looking forward to our graduation day. If we’re still in high school or college after 20 or 50 years, that’s a clear indication that we and that school have failed!
Marriage, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment in which the couple is intended to grow together, serve and submit to one another and live as an earthly reflection of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His relationship with His Bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:22-25).
Marriage requires selflessness and sacrifice - just as Christ submitted to the Father and willingly laid down His life for us, and we are to submit to Him and die to ourselves daily to follow Him (Philippians 2:5-9; 1 John 3:16; John 10:11; Galatians 2:20; Luke 9:23).
Marriage requires forgiveness - just as Christ forgave us of our sins, and we are called to forgive one another (Matthew 6:14-15, 18:15).
Marriage requires faithfulness - just as Christ is faithful in His promises to us, and we are called to be faithful in our commitment to Him and in our vows to others (2 Timothy 2:13; Isaiah 55:11; Ecclesiastes 5:4-5; Matthew 5:33).
Marriage requires love - just as Christ loves the Church and loved us while we were yet sinners, and we are called to love our neighbor and our enemy (Matthew 5:43-45, 22:37-39; Romans 5:8; 1 Corinthians 13).
This is God’s design for marriage whether the individuals joined together are two Believers, two unbelievers, or if one spouse later converts to Christ and the other remains an unbeliever. Marriage is a common grace to mankind to be enjoyed in this life and is to be honored among all (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Hebrews 13:4). Certainly, some may be called to celibacy in joyful service to God, but those not called to celibacy (which is most people) are called to marry that God may also be glorified and served in the earth through their union. Through marriage, one man and one woman become one flesh (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-8). So, if their marriage ends before either of them dies, that means at least one of them failed at the marriage, and, sadly, that also means the marriage failed.
In cases of sexual immorality, the innocent spouse may choose to divorce (Matthew 19:9), but the sexually immoral spouse failed the marriage and thus that marriage failed.
If an unbelieving spouse abandons his or her marriage to a Christian spouse, the Believer is no longer bound (1 Corinthians 7:15), but the unbelieving spouse failed the marriage and thus that marriage failed.
Of course, neither party in a marriage is perfect and each will fall short, but this is why God’s definition of love (1 Corinthians 13) and the principles of the Gospel as previously shared are necessary to ensure success and, if needed, reconciliation.
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), so clearly it’s nothing to be celebrated. Tia can desire to “change the narrative” on this topic, but in reality, she’s only redefining terms in an attempt to avoid the truth or to soften the blow of her decision. So, based on the information she’s chosen to share to date, and based on the true meaning of marriage, she most certainly is NOT “graduating” from her marriage, she’s failing it.
“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband” .”
“ChasE the Joy”
Citing “irreconcilable differences” in her divorce filing, Tia has not made any allegations of cheating, and Cory immediately shut down cheating speculations from internet trolls. Mostly silent on the matter since Tia announced their split, Cory took to Instagram Live to share that he loves Tia and his family, and has, reportedly, told friends he is “fighting for his family” and was just as blindsided by the divorce filing as the general public. “Cory wasn’t abusive, cheating, or anything like that,” a friend shared. “Maybe they grew apart or something – but is that a reason to end a marriage?”
Again, whatever the reason, it’s none of our business. Yet, as she continues to be vocal about the matter, it sounds like Tia was just unhappy.
Since the tragic passing of her niece-in-law Alaina Housley in 2018 and the 2019 passing of her grandmother, Tia told Hoda and Jenna she began to realize that “life is short” and knew it was time to “chase the joy”.
"I really feel like where I am in my life right now, I've realized that life is beautiful, it's amazing, it's a gift, but it's also very short, and we all have to chase our joy and chase being happy," she reiterated in an interview with People.
"Women and mothers, we deserve that too, because we always give to everyone, and sometimes we forget about ourselves. So, that's where I am right now. Just continuing to love on me."
One way Tia continues to “love on” herself and “chase the joy” is through her morning self-care routine. Speaking to E! Insider, she says she begins each day with 10 minutes of a guided or breathing meditation to “tap into” herself. She then reads affirmations to place “positive words of encouragement” into her psyche.
This likely explains many of the affirmations she’s been placing into the psyche of her fans and social media followers as of late.
“Your peace, joy and happiness will always guide you to your best self,” she declared in a recent Tweet.
“So proud of how you are handling yourself and your divorce,” a Twitter user by the name of ThothGirl2022 replied.
“One of the biggest lies told is that we must stay in a marriage that no longer serves us. Sometimes "til death do us part" doesn't mean physical death. Only someone who knows themself can get that,” ThothGirl2022 continued.
Tia also “loves on” herself and chases her joy through a nightly self-care regimen she’s had for about 30 years.
“My night-time routine has always been an experience ever since I was a teenager,” she shared with US Weekly. “My mom was just really into taking care of herself, taking care of her skin, taking care of her body. I learned a lot of that from my mother. So, thank you, Mom.”
Tia says she begins her nightly self-care regimen by burning sage, or smudging, to “get rid of all the negative energy” and get the right “vibes'' for sleep.
An occult ritual its practitioners believe wards off evil spirits and brings about spiritual purification and healing, smudging is also how Tia attempts to stay positive amidst her divorce proceedings. After rotating a piece of burning sage across her chest in a recent Instagram post, she joked that it had “better fix everything” in her life.
Tia is also a major proponent of talk therapy, or psychotherapy, as a form of self-care. Speaking to The Unwind, Tia says she was originally reluctant to try talk therapy due to her religious upbringing. But she credits the persistence of a good friend for her ultimate decision to give it a try.
“It’s about deserving peace and happiness. I chose myself, my peace of mind. I’m very proud of myself because a few years ago, I was neglecting my mental health and a good friend of mine told me I needed therapy,” she said.
“I needed to find my peace and my true happiness and focus on my mental health and start therapy. I’ve been in talk therapy for three years [now]. I’ve become extremely intentional when it comes to my mental health.”
Tia told The Unwind that she also turns to her phone for peace of mind, as it allows her to connect with her online community to inspire and to be inspired.
“I’m a fan of apps and social media and making sure whatever information I'm seeing on a daily basis is uplifting and positive,” Mowry told the site. “I‘m very intentional in terms of what I allow myself to see and read on social media. One account I follow is Moon Omens; I love their daily affirmations, and I love J Ivory, too.”
Moon Omens is an astrology account that offers “deep insights & tools to help you understand the omens & signs that surround us all”.
J Ivory, a professing Christian, is a self-described “affirmations queen” who believes in manifesting, otherwise known as speaking things into existence.
Meanwhile, the Lord counts reliance on astrology an abomination, for we are to worship and seek guidance from Him, the Creator, not His creation (Deuteronomy 4:19; Isaiah 47:13-15); only God can speak anything into existence (Genesis 1; John 1:3; Romans 4:17; ); and Tia is quickly manifesting into a cautionary tale and can’t see the obvious signs of her many errors. She not only sounds like a mashup of Joel Osteen and Oprah, she’s becoming the “the sort who creeps into households and makes captives of gullible women” (2 Timothy 3:6). And the women she heeds and who heed her sound like “gullible women, loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 3:6-7).
In everything she’s done to pursue joy and inner peace, she’s neglected the most obvious and only true path to it. For even to the weary wife and mother, the Lord extends the invitation to “Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” (Matthew 11:28). Instead of casting her cares on Him, she’s casting her self-cares on social media. Instead of seeking her joy and direction from Christ, she’s seeking validation and counsel from the ungodly. She is the epitome of having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof, and it’s extremely sad to witness play out.
I Said All of this to Say…
While we can’t know, and neither is it our business to know, the inner workings of Tia’s and Cory’s marriage, the word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our hearts, and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Hebrews 4:12). Based on the speaking Tia’s done since announcing her divorce, it sounds like her heart is filled with discontentment, resentment and selfishness, which are all incompatible with marriage. If nothing else, she’s certainly a woman who fell away from the Lord well before she fell away from her husband.
This does not necessarily absolve Cory of any potential contribution he might have had in the dissolution of their marriage, but he can at least be credited for his wisdom in choosing to remain silent on this private matter. “A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back,” (Proverbs 29:11), and irreverent, vain babbling only produces more ungodliness (2 Timothy 2:16).
Though a professing Christian, Tia’s not choosing to be encouraged in the Lord. As such, neither does she encourage her following in the things of God. Instead of feasting on the pure milk and meat of the Word, in her quest to nourish her soul, she relies on rotten word salads of feministic mantras and man-centric affirmations. She then regurgitates this rubbish to her female following, and many among them seem to be more than willing to consume it.
Yet, as much as I didn’t initially want to address this matter, Tia’s ongoing rhetoric prompted me to chime in to especially encourage Christian women to not only avoid her, but to avoid the self-love movement in general. Wives, women who desire to marry, and mothers should especially resist the temptation of the self-love campaign, which looks and sounds good on the surface, but is ultimately designed to sully and undermine God’s beautiful design for marriage, our God-given instincts to nurture and His commandments on love.
It is through our relationship with Christ, through fellowship with other Believers, through marriage, through parenthood, and through our relationships with other family members and friends that we grow in our capacity to love and mature in our calling to love as Christ commands.
Of course, there is no sin in needing to take a break to reflect or recharge. There are several instances in the Gospels when Jesus requires solitude and/or rest (Luke 4:1-2, 14-15; Luke 6:12; Luke 22:39-44; Matthew 14:1-13). Yet, when He steps away, it is to commune with the Father and to rest and recharge according to His will, not to utterly abandon His disciples in favor of His own self-interests (John 8:29). God promises to never leave nor forsake us, and Christ has promised to be with us always, even to the end of the age (Deuteronomy 31:6-8; Matthew 28:20; John 6:37).
May we apply this same principle in our marriages.
So, as I close, I pray we wouldn’t allow the delusions of celebrities and others we don’t even know to sow seeds discontentment in our hearts or seduce us into following after the worldly, fruitless and godless patterns they adopt.
I pray that we would be willing to test every spirit, even “unproblematic” and “wholesome” social media influencers. Tia may have been raised Christian and was a child star whose “good girl” image translated into adulthood, but she’s not living obedient to Christ, and she is proving to be just as useful in leading women into sin and deception as Kim Kardashian.
I pray the Lord would bring Tia to repentance and allow her and Cory to reconcile if it is possible, and I hope that this chapter in their lives does no irreparable harm to their children. This situation is sad all around, but the Lord can redeem it if it be His will.
In the meantime, I’ve chosen to unfollow Tia because it’s been hard watching her lying to herself (and us). She doesn’t need to leave her husband in order to love herself. By her own accounts, she’s chosen to leave her husband simply because she’s selfish and self-deceived.
“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.””
